Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Only Battle

Some battles don’t get won in a day. Some battles don’t ever get won. Sometimes people can fight a battle their entire lives only to realize near the end that they spent all their time fighting a battle really wasn’t worth fighting after all. And why is it that we find the need to fight at all? Where are we trying to get? What are we trying to win? We work and push and struggle and suffer and hope to come out the victors at the end of the day…but against whom or what could we ever truly emerge victorious?

The only real battle is the one we fight within ourselves, and the only true victory is when we learn a way to stop fighting; when we learn to simply be in the world.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Existential Ramblings, 3 of...

Reflection I wrote on April 24, 2012 in San Jose, Costa Rica.

What I have deemed my own private hell, existential angst, uncertainty, and confusion have been a byproduct of my indecision with my life. Paralyzing fear has been the result of not wanting to commit fully to courses of action in my life; refusing to commit to my life itself. From choosing a career to choices of what to do to fill the space of each day, the void left by my indecision has been painful and led to much suffering. It's taken a toll on my health, my sense of well-being, and my peace of mind.

The joys of life certainly cannot come from a place of prolonged, lethargic inaction based in fear. There is no right path except to choose a path and go all out for it; commit to one's life fully and face what comes. It may be uncomfortable and downright painful and terrifying at times, but at least it's living. The opposite course, the refusal of life, is hell on earth.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


no chance in this hell, snowball

I’ve drudged these halls
and wept in these corners for days

it’s mostly cobwebs and dust,
rusty pieces of pipe and broken screws,
loose dirt on hard ground,
smells of mildew and mould
between the bricks

every now and then
a trickle of water here,
a feather of sunlight there –
you need to press your tongue to the cracks
to really take it in

but as long as you’re here,
you’re here,
hoping for a chance to go and play in the grass again

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Existential Ramblings, 2 of...

And just like that, the inspiration left me – it’s been days since I last wrote. It’s like I needed the pain to motivate me to write…but no, the pain itself is not inspirational. It’s growing through the pain that inspired me to write, and so once again I must have grown today, or I wouldn’t be writing. There’s a certain feeling I get when I push through something that’s been stopping me; more often than not, it’s some blockage within myself. It feels like I’m finally back in touch with my true self, like there have been cobwebs draped over my eyes and they’ve just been brushed away, revealing a vibrancy in the world that I had previously missed. I see all the colours again, I smell all the odours of the world, I hear all the sounds. I hear myself.
I was trained and indoctrinated to believe that pain is a bad thing, something detrimental, something to be avoided. This isn’t something that was explicitly taught to me, it’s something that was implied in the background of many conversations. It’s built into the context of our society, our collective mentality. It’s the reason we have a culture of people looking for magic pills and quick solutions to every type of problem. It’s the source of addiction and the reason for much grief and suffering in the world: the avoidance and fear of pain. The problem is, pain in and of itself isn’t our enemy. Pain, like most feelings, is a signifier of something else. When we’re injured, it’s pain that gets our attention and tells us, “hey, there’s a problem here, you should take a look at this.”
Pain is not something we can completely avoid in our lifetimes, at least not without drastic consequences. What happens if a serious wound is simply medicated with painkillers? The pain may dissipate, but the wound itself will fester, become gangrenous, and maybe even cause death. The same goes for emotional pain, and dare-I-say spiritual pain. If we ignore it, if we try to run from it or avoid it or numb it out, we’re bound to suffer more dire consequences than the experience of the pain itself.
I spent many years of my life trying to run from and numb out my pain without knowing it. The pain of loneliness, of thinking there was something wrong with me, the pains of growing up. Emotional pains of an often unhappy household and the pains of not knowing how to deal with my fears and insecurities. Eventually I found substances that could help me forget my pain, help me feel a little better for the moment or at the very least numb out my emotions entirely. I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t have gone on drinking and getting high on a daily basis if the substances kept working for me, but they didn’t. My new-found solutions turned into problems of their own. And when all the smoke cleared and the dust settled, when I was alone with myself at the end of the day, I found that my pain had multiplied immensely.
I had started out running from something and as the years passed by I forgot what I was running from. When I finally had the courage to start facing my demons and chose to get sober (which I could not have done without a tremendous amount of help), I was left confused and disoriented as to my place in the world. I didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t have the faintest clue as to what my problems really were. By the grace of God, people were put in my path that helped guide me and taught me how to live again, without the drugs and alcohol. I owe my life to people who gave of themselves so that I could learn to stand again on my own two feet.
The point of this story is that I ran from pain, tried to numb emotions and thoughts that I found difficult to deal with, and as a result of doing this over a prolonged period of time, my world fell apart. Only now, after years of work on myself and much soul-searching, am I beginning to see the true purpose of emotions and the constructive role that pain can play. Sometimes emotions are just that – emotions. They don’t necessarily mean anything on their own. Conversely, if certain feelings persist over time, especially unpleasant ones, it’s worth beginning to inquire as to why. A lot of the time I know my ego can get in the way of what’s really going on with me, telling me everything is cool and good and I’ve got it all handled. That’s usually when the unconscious begins to stir, begins communicating to me with emotions, dreams, or bodily aches and pains, and that’s when I need to start paying more attention to my soul.
I’ve been taught that the greatest source of human suffering is resistance to painful experiences. Perhaps because we are either hardwired or conditioned to avoid pain, when we feel unpleasant emotions we resist them in any way we can. Often mental resistance is at play, and as such we experience normal human emotions (sadness, for example) as sources of tremendous suffering. We as human beings have the uncanny ability to intellectualize and analyze ourselves and our emotions, and we can often create mountains out of ant-hills in our minds. I know that I can do this quite regularly, and when I’m not mindful of it I manufacture a lot of misery for myself.
I still do believe, however, that our emotions serve a purpose. Pain occurs for reasons, even if we sometimes aren’t aware what those reasons are. The first and most important thing I’m learning is that we need be OK with the pain itself – don’t fight it, don’t resist it. If we can do that, then we can actually begin to look for the source of the pain, instead of spending energy trying to alleviate suffering. And when we can be with the pain, we can learn what it’s trying to tell us and we have the opportunity for growth. And then we can be inspired by life once again.

Existential Ramblings, 1 of...

At some point you might wake up and realize that everything you’ve ever done to get what you want in your life hasn’t worked. Sure, you’ve made strides here and there; you’ve had small victories and counted some things in your life as “accomplishments.” But at some point, your soul is liable to get loud enough to drown out all the other voices in your head and make you stop and think for a minute that, ‘Hey – this life isn’t turning out the way I wanted it to.” And then you’re stuck with a much bigger problem than how to score a raise at your next annual performance review or what shirt looks good with what pair of shoes or what your neighbours might think about that shitty car you drive. Then you have to confront those damn existential, philosophical questions about being human that everybody hates and nobody makes the time to think about, let alone has any definite answers for. And then you’re really in the shit.
            I suppose the first time I thought about any of this stuff was when I was approximately five years old. Walking down a sidewalk in front of some storefronts with my mother, I suddenly felt a bit dizzy, awkward in my steps and a bit removed from corporeality. A thought occurred in my five-year-old brain: ‘Of all the infinite numbers of souls that could have inhabited any of the infinite bodies in this world, why am I this particular soul inhabiting this particular body?’ Granted, I likely didn’t formulate such a proper-sounding sentence in my head at the time, but the question, which occurred as more of a realization, was awakened within me nonetheless. Whether I had some intrinsic knowledge of myself being an embodied soul in this world or I had picked it up from early conversations with my mother, I can’t be certain. What I do know is that since that moment I’ve never really stopped pondering this question, never stopped wondering what my purpose in life is or why I even exist at all.
            It’s been the source of a lot of what some have coined “existential angst” for me over the years. It’s led me down dark roads of depression, addiction, anxiety, and even brief periods of psychosis. At other times, it’s given me a sense of purpose, made me determined, inspired me, and possibly been responsible for some of the best actions I’ve taken in my life. And still I can’t fully define this thing, this it, this gnawing force within me that seldom allows me to sit still and in silence, that won’t let me settle for the mundane or what I conceive to be a mediocre life. It calls me, it pulls me, and sometimes, when I haven’t been paying attention to it, it screams to me and can even knock me on my ass.
            Is it my soul calling towards some preordained, God-given purpose in this world? Is it my ego telling me I’m not good enough, I’m not doing enough, that I need to do and be and achieve more in my life just so I can be OK? Is it fear and insecurity dogging my every step just to make sure I feel shitty enough to not have a normal life but not shitty enough to end it all? Unfortunately, there are no finite tests to determine exactly what is going on in the human psyche. There are no brain scans to date which can disambiguate the myriad of possible reasons and sources for various feelings, thoughts, beliefs and experiences.
So I’m left here with whatever tools are at my disposal. I have a voice to speak with, to ask questions, to share my experiences. I have ears to listen with and hear if others might be able to shed some light onto my confusion and help clear the cobwebs that cloud my judgment. I’m still not a great listener and I’m even worse at sharing what’s going on with me through conversation, mostly because I don’t know myself what’s going on half the time. Still, I have these hands to write with, these fingers to tap on keys and make characters, words, and sentences appear on a screen in front of my eyes. Sad as it may seem to some, the written word has always been my closest ally in times of darkness; writing has been by best friend in times of complete spiritual bankruptcy and isolation. And I haven’t seriously written anything in far too long.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Pen and Pad

“…if we pay close enough attention to the signs, then they do appear/
and guide us towards the rivers of life – it’s all fluid there/
if there’s a destiny to fulfill, we must do it there/
put my pen to pad, receive courage and march through the fear…”

More than just a book of rhymes, Toronto hip hop artist MC FÜBB views his notebook as a place to capture his authentic self – a vessel for his soul’s expression. In “Pen and Pad,” a spoken word/acapella rap piece + video, FÜBB explores the role that writing poetry and lyrics plays as he works to contextualize his life, making sense of past hardships, acknowledging his present circumstances, and working towards his vision for the future. More than just a reflection on his own life, “Pen and Pad” is a piece that encourages listeners to think about their own purpose in the world, as MC FÜBB says:

“It’s about more than just me and what I’m dealing with – it’s about where we’re heading collectively as human beings. I don’t think I’m unique in asking the questions I’m asking about purpose or how to be at home in the world; all of us deal with these existential yearnings at some level. My role as an emcee, and even more primarily as a poet, is to express these feelings in ways that perhaps most people don’t yet have access to. To write unwritten truths and speak unspoken knowledge – that’s my job as a poet and an emcee.”

The video for "Pen and Pad" is the second spoken word/acapella rap video that MC FÜBB has released in anticipation of his upcoming EP, the poet, which will drop in late 2012.

Written and performed by: MC FÜBB

Cinematography by: Evan Ciniello for StreetCar Creative

Monday, September 10, 2012

Tidal Wave

sometimes it trickles in slow
like mud quietly dissolving into the water
from the edge of a river bank

and sometimes it comes on all at once
like a tidal wave,
a tsunami on unsuspecting tourists,
a horrific mass engulfing my entire realm,
sloshing around before it settles,
heavy and unmoving,
washing in front of my eyes,
blurring vision,
and when I can see again sometimes
the wreckage left behind
is too much for words

but always, always it has been
that I’ve continued to persist.

though scars accumulate,
my injuries heal,

always trying to grow wiser,
more determined,
yearning for days when the levies
will be strong enough to hold

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Another Rapper Video

Tired of being looked over, shrugged off, and brushed to the side by the music industry, media sources, and even his own peers, MC FÜBB felt it necessary to vent his frustrations on his last album, In the Face of No Agreement (aka ITFONA). In anticipation of his upcoming EP, the poet, FÜBB teamed up with Evan Ciniello (StreetCar Creative) to release a video for his spoken word/acapella rap piece "Another Rapper" (which appears on ITFONA).

"I wrote 'Another Rapper' as part of a process in which I was getting out a lot of my internal struggles and frustrations, which was sort of the personal theme of ITFONA for me," says FÜBB. "I wanted to explicitly show and prove to people why I'm not just another rapper out of the millions of rappers in the world. People might wonder, 'why should I pay attention to you? What makes you special or different than everyone else?' 'Another Rapper' is my answer to those questions."

The video for "Another Rapper" is the first in a series of spoken word/acapella rap videos that MC FÜBB will be releasing before the poet EP drops in late 2012.

"Another Rapper" is featured as track #7 on MC FÜBB's album, "In the Face of No Agreement," produced exclusively by Noyz (

Free download of "Another Rapper" and lyrics available here:

Written and performed by: MC FÜBB

Cinematography by: Evan Ciniello for StreetCar Creative

Outro beat by: Noyz

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Response to last night's shooting...

Cue the outrage. Cue the anger. Cue the sadness, despair, confusion, loss of words.

While I see most people on various social media outlets responding all sorts of ways, I find myself comparatively indifferent in my reaction to last night's tragic shooting in Scarborough. It's not because I'm callous, cold, or even cynical - I'm simply not that surprised that it happened. I think it’s terrible, I am sad that it happened, and my prayers go out to the victims, their families and their friends. And I’m not surprised.

What most people don't seem to understand is that we live in a world where what happened last night is actually not that uncommon. Shootings with this many victims at once, in one place at one time, yes, do not happen often in Toronto. We’re quite fortunate that for a city our size, we have a relatively low violent crime rate compared to most major cities in the world. Why I’m not surprised, however, has little to do with the geographical location or particular circumstances surrounding this incident; it has to do with where we’re at as a society, and more broadly as a race.

Let’s get a few things out of the way: this isn’t the police’s fault. This isn’t the government’s fault. It’s not white people’s fault, it’s not black people’s fault, it’s not Rob Ford’s fault. If people insist on putting blame on someone, put it on the person or people who pulled the triggers. They are responsible for their actions, regardless of whom or what drove them to the point of wanting to kill other people. That being said, I don’t think that assigning blame is going to get us anywhere.

We have this persistent delusion that if justice is served and we lock the shooters behind bars, everything will be OK again. The truth is that things are not going to be OK for the victims, their families, or their communities no matter what happens to the shooters. Dispensing justice will not prevent future acts of violence like this from occurring. The most constructive way to view last night’s shooting is that is was a symptom of much greater problems in our world, problems that we (for the most part) ignore in our daily lives and do little to nothing about in most of our lifetimes. The greatest of these problems that we need to confront is ourselves.

I believe that we are responsible for last night’s shooting – every single one of us. Not in the sense of being culpable for the crimes committed, but rather I am saying that we are responsible for the kind of world we live in. The kind of world I’m referring to is one in which it’s quite normal for people to die needlessly every day. It’s quite commonplace for atrocities to occur all around the globe and have nobody do anything about it. It’s become normal for people to have their egos so bruised or their feelings so hurt that they feel justified in picking up a gun blasting holes their fellow human beings. These things aren’t right, they aren’t good, and I don’t believe they should happen, but they do, and they happen because, on some level, we allow them to happen.

This idea of responsibility isn’t going to be easy for most people to get their heads around. It’s going to take a level of thinking that most people don’t think on in their daily lives and frankly most people don’t want to think on because it’s not easy. It’s not comfortable – it takes effort to step out of our isolated little shells of lives and circle of friends to think of who we are and what our lives are about on a societal level, and furthermore on a global scale. It’s necessary, however, to begin to think of ourselves as integral parts of this world in a very real sense if we want these kinds of horrible events to stop. We are literally connected to each other. The way we choose to be in the world has an impact on the way the world is. What we say and do, and what we don’t say and don’t do, all have causal consequences that reach far beyond anything we can measure. That kind of power, the power we have to influence each other’s lives and affect our world as a whole, is precisely the thing that we as individuals do not want to take responsibility for (I could write an entire book on the things about us that stop us from accepting our power and responsibility, but that is beyond the scope of this paper).

I believe that last night’s shooting, at its root causes, is about how we relate to ourselves as human beings and how we treat each other. It’s about what work (if any) we’ve done to take stock of the kind of people we are, what we’ve done to really gain true knowledge of ourselves. It’s about the people that we are committed to being in this life. It’s about how we raise our kids, how we educate our youth, and what we tolerate in ourselves and each other. It’s about more than seeing the problems around us, it’s about relating to ourselves as the people who are here to do something about them.

I didn’t pick up a gun last night and shoot anybody and (unless you are the shooter/shooters reading this) neither did you. If we want to know what we can do, if we really want to take responsibility for these acts of violence happening in our world, we need to ask ourselves how we’re living. We need to start asking ourselves the hardest of questions: What is my life about? Am I here just for myself or am I here to make a difference? What difference am I actually making? What kind of person am I being in the world? It’s a shift in consciousness that needs to occur, transformations that need to occur within ourselves, before we are going to see lasting, sustainable changes happening in our society and in our world as a whole.

There is no one right way to go about transforming ourselves and in turn transforming the world. I’ve used readings on various philosophical and spiritual traditions, creative self-expression thorugh hip hop music and culture, writing (poetry, prose, songs, essays, etc.), direct mentorship, volunteer work, and more traditional education systems as some of ways to gain knowledge of myself. I don’t care what methods people choose to use (as long as they don’t harm anybody) to see the truths about themselves, but we need to start somewhere. It starts with each one of us acknowledging who we truly are – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We can’t grow from where we’re not. From where we are, from a place of honesty and humility, we can begin to have access to our greatest power as human beings: the freedom to consciously choose.

Choose who you are going to be in the world. Choose to build and create. Choose to make a difference with your life and impact the world for the better.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

If Darkness Reigns

If the ceiling
should crack and crumble
and all below
is covered in dust and rocks,
while walls decay
and fall over
leaving all beneath them
dead and gone,

If the ground
should shake and drift
from solid foundations
to liquid earth,
while the golden pictures
come falling down
into pits of fire
and burn,

If the truths
that we all seek
should elude us and
hide in lies,
while the lights
that warm our souls
stop gleaming
and dwell in shadows
in the night,

If the happiness
is depleted
and all the joy
is dry and cold,
while the waters
of the rivers
that sustain our life
seem to stop to flow,

If we are still alive
through all these things,
then this is reason enough
to keep dreaming,
keep fighting,
and keep on living.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

We Are Still Here

we might not look at you the same way we used to

we might squint our eyes a bit more in confusion,
furrow our brows
and ask more questions,
be unable to understand your answers

sometimes it might hurt you to know
that we don’t recognize you
or seem to have forgotten who you are

please don’t be too sad –
we have not forgotten

the same people who loved you your entire life
still love you –
we still care as much as we ever did,
even if we are unable to show it,
it still warms our hearts to see you,
to hear your voice,
even if our brains won’t let us acknowledge it

you might think that you’ve already lost us
but you haven’t.

we are still here.

we are still here,
behind the waves of confusion,
the disorientation,
the utter impossibility to make sense of it all,
we are here,
still beings inside these shells,
still feeling, still experiencing the world,
if only in different ways than we have before,
still seeking your love and companionship
despite everything that’s happening to us,
still listening for your words
even if we don’t seem to be able to comprehend them

and we know it’s hard for you to be with us like this,
we know it hurts for you to see your mothers, your fathers,
grandparents, husbands, wives, aunts and uncles,
to see your heroes deteriorate before your eyes;
we wish that it didn’t have to be this way,
but it is;

do not feel guilty for your pain,
do not be ashamed of us or of your sadness –
nobody expected things to turn out this way

but here we are –
you, us
still here
still living in the face of an insidious disease,
still living through it a day at a time

we are still here
waiting for you and the only thing that some of us can still understand at all:


we still understand your love

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Inspirational Words: Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, widely renowned as a genius physicist, famous for his General Theory of Relativity and father of what is now known as Quantum Physics, was also a man of deep philosophical thought. His words are wellsprings of wisdom based on his own soul searching and observations about himself, human beings, society, and the world as a whole. By all appearances, Einstein was a simple and humble man who had a tremendous impact on the human race.

Here are some of his words. Read. Think. Be inspired.


tell me not to care me so much

they tell me to be realistic,
listen to the ways of this man-made world and
tone in down a notch

dream only when you’re asleep
and don’t tell me about it

don’t look behind all these tarnished, maroon curtains
at the ugliness we’ve kept so un-cleverly hidden,
don’t pay attention to any of it
because it might take you a step closer to the truth
and the truth hurts,
it hurts…

speak when you’re spoken to,
walk when the sign says to
and go where you’re allowed because
it’s bloody dangerous out there and you might get

stay comfortable.
stay home.
stay safe.
as long as you don’t bother anyone
or move anything then everything will be ok

things are not ok.

they shit on us telling us it’s chocolate icing,
spray Febreeze on piles of decaying rot and tell us
it’s a breath of fresh air,
tell us that as long as you can afford your skinny mint frappuccino with flavour shot of your choice from Starbucks every single day then – hey,
you’re doing pretty good

how good are you really doing?
how are you actually living?

aim higher.
push harder.
reach farther.
ask more of yourself than you would of your children,
your significant other,
your employees;

be a leader;
to lead is to teach and teaching by example isn’t the only way to teach
but it’s probably the most effective,
listen to the cries of your soul on one of those nights of fear
instead of going out for drinks,
write something, build something, create something
instead of watching another episode of Jersey Shore,
and if you don’t want to listen to me then ask yourself why
because all I’m telling you to do
is to listen to you,

listen to you
no matter how much it hurts.

Friday, July 6, 2012


pain doesn’t really care what colour you are
whether or not you have a trust fund or
live on the street
pain doesn’t care how old you are
if you live a comfortable life
or haven’t slept in a week

fear doesn’t give a fuck if you’re a homosexual
if you’re straight as an arrow
or you live your life celibate
and fear doesn’t care if you’re an athlete or professional
if you live a rough life
or your whole world is delicate

this is life right now and there’s no prerequisite
no instruction manual, no list for double-checking it
we’re only here as long as we are – no half steppin it
this world brings us down only as long as we’re letting it

you see, sadness doesn’t just pick on the weak-hearted
and madness doesn’t just steal the minds of cowards
we wanna build our lives, but before we start it
we should take a few minutes to analyze our power

strength lies in more than our muscles and bones
strength is what it takes to build a family, a home
a community, a world worth living in
when a man does you wrong, it takes strength to be forgiving him
it takes courage to live this life
to be true to oneself in the face of the odds
to make sense of a world that can seem so odd
keeping faith is more than about believing in God

it’s about seeing greatness in the eyes of each other
responsibility for pointing out the lies in each other
no matter how uncomfortable, we must rely on each other
we can either grow together or die with each other
and might sound drastic, but life can be drastic
we all carry burdens around, we try to mask it
lie about the fact that sometimes we get our ass kicked
it’s like we’re tryna shine our light through layers of plastic

but we’re greater than we give ourselves credit for
you’re greater than your bank account balances and credit scores
this world made you forget who you are – what you let it for?
once upon a time, you had a dream – what did you forget it for?

get quiet. take some minutes from time and just listen
be patient with the process,
get in touch with your inner waves like audio that’s lossless
fuck a dollar sign – silence is priceless – costless
just listen…

because love doesn’t care what mistakes you’ve made
even if you spent half your life drinking your way to the grave
and love doesn’t resent you for being a human being
love lives in the unseen – there’s so much we’re not seeing

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Path

Lyrics for "The Path” feat. Mike Devine (produced by Junia T) - lead single on the poet EP:


I saw my life painted on a canvas
strayed from my path and then the picture vanished
did a bit of damage
tried to put it down, but life without raps – I can’t manage
now I’m feeling famished                                                                      
hungry for a bigger life, thirsty for a broader dream
now at least I sleep nights not toking like a fiend
and though I’m grateful for that, I can’t stop moving
when I’m making progress the only time I’m not losing                                              
six years since I stopped boozing – for what?
so I could relax and lay in the cut? nah – fuck that
can’t live my life without momentum like a drum track
keep my skills sharp like the tip of a thumbtack                                                              
I know that there’s battles ahead, I won’t run from
though I feel cut from my Roots – my life “Undun”
but from this place, spitting out distaste
refuse to live my life in the shadow of disgrace                                        
the race of a thousand souls, what is fifth place?
when only one or two can shine, what is it we chase?
life ain’t an iPhone, you can’t replace
years gone by or the time you waste                              
staring in the mirror, tryna analyze my face
the man that grew from a boy,
now it’s build or destroy
I guess it’s time to put away old toys
on this journey tryna find my voice                            

seeing my dreams as I create that
ain’t no rehearsal and ain’t no take backs
blessed with a gift and I’ve got to show it
ain’t no glory on the path of a poet
I know that time don’t wait for no man
gotta stay focused on where I’m goin’
where this road leads is not for knowin’
try to keep faith and enjoy the moment


consumed by thoughts that aren’t theirs
pursuing wares that ain’t fit for the wear
walking through life sometimes I stop and stare
I’m looking for that soul but it just ain’t there
try to numb out but I really do care
what’s the point of keeping score when nothing is fair?
sometimes I wish that I wasn’t so aware
but I know what I know, I gotta spit it and the message is rare                           
we are much more than they ever said we were, unsure
of whether we can live out our dreams, cliché as it seems
I believe that we need to achieve
our utmost, to bear fruits on these branches of leaves                                    
(so) caught up in all that we receive
we refuse to pay attention to the things that the world really needs
we hiding in the night like thieves
looking for ways to get a buzz but we’re never relieved              
we can’t relax, losing real estate in our minds – Remax
try to do better but we tend to relapse
where are we goin? we gotta take a look where we at
we can’t grow from where we ain’t, we’re not sinners or saints
we’re in between like the colour between purple and green
it’s all blue, the distance between me and you
real recognize real, real recognize the fake too
but I don’t hate you…

seeing my dreams as I create that
ain’t no rehearsal and ain’t no take backs
blessed with a gift and I’ve got to show it
ain’t no glory on the path of a poet
I know that time don’t wait for no man
gotta stay focused on where I’m goin’
where this road leads is not for knowin’
try to keep faith and enjoy the moment


moments yeah they pass by
sometimes miss ‘em like I got two glass eyes
everybody hustle hard, tryna live ‘em fast lives
half the time talking in tongues, speaking fast lies
overly familiar like past-lives                                                         
feeling like I been here before, is this a failed attempt
to live a glorious life, or am I just exempt
from the mediocrity of averages
that we all condone while ignoring the savageness                                           
honestly, I don’t how to handle this
sometimes lost in my ramblings, searching for advantages
tryna manage my own career without management
half my time spent tryna recoup my damages
so what’s the sense in it
when everything’s an expense and that I keep on investing in
self-interest vested in
laying out my soul over beats and manifesting it
struggling’s the method that my character is tested in                                      
not just another rap specimen
a poet that grew from walking the path of lesser men
from the fog I was in to way out of my element
I still resist this road to my detriment                            
I got a soul sickness – this art is my medicine
so I’ma play my part and shine light like Edison
but I’ve learned to keep my pace steady-and
anything less than my God given purpose I’m not settling

seeing my dreams as I create that
ain’t no rehearsal and ain’t no take backs
blessed with a gift and I’ve got to show it
ain’t no glory on the path of a poet
I know that time don’t wait for no man
gotta stay focused on where I’m goin’
where this road leads is not for knowin’
try to keep faith and enjoy the moment

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Inspirational Words: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson was a highly influential figure in shaping of the voice of American literature and thought since his life in the 19th century. Essayist, poet, lecturer, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement, Emerson's words influenced many famous auhtors such as William James, Friedreich Nietzsche, Walt Witman, and Henry David Thoreau. Perhaps what made Emerson such a prominent figure was not only his unflinching questioning of everyday societal values and ways of life (which he did throughout his prolific career), but he also pointed people in the direction of different ways of thinking and looking at the world. His words still echo today, long after his death, with the same poignancy and relevance as the times they were written in. 

Here are some of his words. Read. Question. Be inspired.