We Are Still Here

we might not look at you the same way we used to

we might squint our eyes a bit more in confusion,

furrow our brows

and ask more questions,

be unable to understand your answers

sometimes it might hurt you to know

that we don’t recognize you

or seem to have forgotten who you are

please don’t be too sad –

we have not forgotten

the same people who loved you your entire life

still love you –

we still care as much as we ever did,

even if we are unable to show it,

it still warms our hearts to see you,

to hear your voice,

even if our brains won’t let us acknowledge it

you might think that you’ve already lost us

but you haven’t.

we are still here.

we are still here,

behind the waves of confusion,

the disorientation,

the utter impossibility to make sense of it all,

we are here,

still beings inside these shells,

still feeling, still experiencing the world,

if only in different ways than we have before,

still seeking your love and companionship

despite everything that’s happening to us,

still listening for your words

even if we don’t seem to be able to comprehend them

and we know it’s hard for you to be with us like this,

we know it hurts for you to see your mothers, your fathers,

grandparents, husbands, wives, aunts and uncles,

to see your heroes deteriorate before your eyes;

we wish that it didn’t have to be this way,

but it is;

do not feel guilty for your pain,

do not be ashamed of us or of your sadness –

nobody expected things to turn out this way

but here we are –

you, us

still here

still living in the face of an insidious disease,

still living through it a day at a time

we are still here

waiting for you and the only thing that some of us can still understand at all:

love

we still understand your love