Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Saturday, December 19, 2020

2020

 

Adieu

to a bastard of a year

whose father was no father at all

but a diaper they attempted to clean with a dishrag

and strapped to a mannequin

with the voicebox of a 10-year-old

whose mother did not protect him—

was perhaps unable to do so—

from the ills of the world.

 

Farewell

to another year of black throats crushed,

suffocated for all to see,

of faces scraped against concrete,

shot in their beds or left to rot in cells,

but also of those who balled their fists,

refused to be silent and took to streets,

who organized behind the scenes,

took to the ballot boxes and screamed.

 

Good riddance

to hordes of gnashing teeth between gingivitis-laden gums,

Whopper guts and confederate flags,

Boogaloo boys with happy trigger fingers

who comforted themselves with silky lies,

who bathed their skin in the oils of dead whale calves

and toasted Coors Lights as they downed their fill

of fascist tripe, Mussolinian entrails,

and thought they did it all in the name of the Lord.

 

Goodbye (but not quite yet)

to strangers seen as threats (more than usually),

whose very breath, a dangerous vector,

to third-world-country mills of polypropylene masks

that some viewed as signs of oppression,

that some clung to in hopes of staying safe,

that some scoffed at while their grandparents died,

that became an indicator of whose gaze extended beyond

the clippings of their own toenails

and whose was mired in solipsism that could not permit

of empathy to break their autistic fever-dreams.

 

(and hopefully) A tentative hello

to commutes to work that no longer need to exist,

to painfully waking up to social responsibility,

to digging our leaders’ heads out of the oil-sands,

to clean drinking water in Flint and on indigenous reserves,

to no longer tolerating that which can be changed,

to forgoing our opiates in the name of tears

that need to shed aloud.






Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Insomnia Poem

Perhaps a natural consequence of giving too much of myself
to too many people on a given day,
that later shift in the middle of the week
that just shits all over the routine I try to build for myself,
leading to that extra mid-day coffee that I justify because it’s going to be a later night—
leading to a much later night than it would have been—
practicing the progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, controlled breathing skills
that I recommend to so many clients,
until I get up to make some tea (which will wake me later I’m sure when I finally do get to sleep)
and realize I haven’t written anything poetic or horribly self-expressive
in a very long time,
and I have a moment of poet-ception as I write this line
and feel almost bad for the reader for getting him/her/themselves into this mess,

but maybe you’re already in a mess
and it’s comforting to know that you’re
not the only one.





Saturday, August 8, 2015

Bare

As if today wasn't everything I have,
memory trails encoded in neural webs,
flashes of light across synapses
illuminate moments,
feelings, places, times
I'd sooner forget.

Dare I squander another hour,
another minute of this
flash-in-the-pan existence
before  my energy is again strewn
across the expanse,
the void,
to drift nowhere,
out of time?

Dare I be afraid of speaking truth,
of emotions, of consequences,
to standing naked against the wind,
to shivers and goosebumps on skin,
dare I hide behind a gripping façade of shame?

No, no.
I have cowered in the shadows,
I have run from the now.
I know fear
and all of its companions;
I've tasted the blandness
of living suppression.

I have learned all I can
from the dark.



Suppression

Neither pride nor shame can keep us,
not for long,
not from life,
from emotions that speak our truth,
that we hide behind hands,
looking away as if we could avoid
getting wet in an ocean,
clinging to flotsam,
planks of wood, anything
to keep us from being immersed,
from feeling too much,
like worms that fear the dirt,
bats that fear nightfall,
as we walk around
trying to suppress sneezes
in dusty, pollen-filled air.



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Fractured Relations - part two

Convocation day.
I invited both Mom and Dad,
knowing it would be awkward
but not really caring;
I wanted them both to be there,
so they could both be proud of their son.

Zaidy John came with Dad,
Mom came separately.

Afterwards,
as we walked,
I felt torn inside,
wanting to address them both together
but not believing that I could.
Hugs and pictures for both,
separately.

Zaidy John sat with Mom
as they talked, probably about
Bubbie Blemah and her worsening Alzheimer’s,
and I talked with Dad,
answering questions succinctly.

I sat there, feeling disoriented, and watched us
as if from an outside perspective,
perceiving a barrier between family,
as if some cruel hand had shattered the rigid bonds
that once held us all together.

“It’s funny how things turn out,”
Mom said to me once,
“Life is strange.”
“It’s not strange or funny,”
I replied,
“it’s just the way it is.”

It’s just the way it is
and only God knows why.

But my family didn’t die;
it broke and then transformed,
like roots breaking off a plant
and sprouting anew,
like a love fractured at its core,
fragments drifting apart into different horizons,
held together only by the sight
of fading memories
and living again in the breaths
of altered lives.


Saturday, November 8, 2014

She – part two

She’s courageous and honest,
compassionate and kind,

she holds me in her heart even when it hurts,
even when the alarms sound and tell her to run,
she holds me in her arms
when I fall apart
and lets me go when I need to make moves,

We hold each other’s hope when we can’t hold our own –
there’s never a question, never a second thought –
holding it close until whatever storm has passed.

I carry her in my heart,
usually without knowing it,
I carry her warmth, her support, her love
into my work, into my words,
into my music and my life.

I may falter, but I will not fall;
I may retract, but I will not run.

No matter the fatigue,
no matter the fear,
no matter the ecstasy
or the calamity.




Sunday, November 10, 2013

Integration

I wear the garments of past transgressions
over wounds that festered
but still somehow healed,
covering recent scabs and scratches,
battle-scars that I no longer wear proudly.

I wear the garments proudly.

Reminding me that love permeates even madness,
that even the oozing of raged-filled thoughts
can be halted,
that disparate parts of oneself can be galvanized,
inspired to converse, to coalesce,

that even in what appears as utter chaos
one can chart a course,
non-linear, unpredictable,
but a course nonetheless,

that the destination of the present moment
can be found even in a mind distended
across generations.




Thursday, September 5, 2013

Forge

a fluid mosaic
slapped onto a rusted iron anvil,
hammered down upon with increasing ferocity,
but it does not bend,
it does not splash,
it does not so much as move.

I try to make sense of it all,
of the reasons why I’ve done what I’ve done,
seeking some sort of underlying logic,
a noble, mysterious truth,
or perhaps just counterfactual justifications
overlapping simpler explanations,

a steel rod
that spends no time in the forge
cannot be manipulated by the blacksmith;

perhaps it is the same with any craft,
with even us artists,
who need time for pressure to build
before we can have a say
in the how and when of our creativity’s release






Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Stained Glass

through stained glass, peering

shades and hues that shift like the wind;
seemingly arbitrary directions to us,
mathematically precise according to
barometric laws,
pressurized systems of neural connections,
more complicated than Freudian hydraulics,
simpler than an fMRI scan
would have us believe.

the greens sometimes seem greener
when the sun shines brighter,
yet the lake feels warmer
after a cold rain

in a realm where logical formulas break down,
only keeping relevance insofar as they are applied
in perfectly appropriate fashion,
impossible when applied by imperfect creatures
trying to navigate the ocean,

trying in vain to predict the currents of the wind




Monday, August 12, 2013

Creation

that I might have the audacity to dream again,

something a man said about the audacity of hope
still echoes in my head,
something that the people embraced
but didn’t run too far with

perhaps it was just a seed
cast into the wind,
to land on either fertile soil
or solid rock,
a fate up to the currents of the air

that I might again give form to the formless,
mold from thoughts
something that can be heard, seen, felt,
even if when cast into the wind
it ends up being a pebble
flung into the ocean

at least I’d make a ripple,
at least I’d move matter,
at least I’d do something that could not otherwise
have been done

that I might find the will to create

again


Friday, March 15, 2013

Cocoon

Not everything that cocoons
becomes a butterfly.

A butterfly needs to undergo complete metamorphosis
at a cellular level,
each part of it transforming, shifting, changing,
in a delicate process that, if disturbed
can result in death.

People often enter cocoons of their own.

Sometimes it is necessary to cocoon,
to lose old ideas, beliefs, perspectives,
and gain new faculties and sensibilities;
to emerge with new possibilities for life.

But not every caterpillar that enters a cocoon
sprouts the wings it needs to fly.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Storm

like a branch that beats down
on a window pane in a storm,
threatening to  break it all –
shattered to pieces

like an unforgiving friend
who doesn’t want to hear apologies,
justifications or reason,
who just wants to know that you feel
as shitty as they do

liquid rock
searing over gray matter,
coursing through veins;
ashen trees with empty roots,
cracking at the seams,
brittle to the core

I will bend
but I will not break
against the weight of the storm


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Purgatory

no chance in this hell, snowball

I’ve drudged these halls
and wept in these corners for days

it’s mostly cobwebs and dust,
rusty pieces of pipe and broken screws,
loose dirt on hard ground,
smells of mildew and mould
between the bricks

every now and then
a trickle of water here,
a feather of sunlight there –
you need to press your tongue to the cracks
to really take it in

but as long as you’re here,
you’re here,
hoping for a chance to go and play in the grass again



Monday, September 17, 2012

Pen and Pad


“…if we pay close enough attention to the signs, then they do appear/
and guide us towards the rivers of life – it’s all fluid there/
if there’s a destiny to fulfill, we must do it there/
put my pen to pad, receive courage and march through the fear…”

More than just a book of rhymes, Toronto hip hop artist MC FÜBB views his notebook as a place to capture his authentic self – a vessel for his soul’s expression. In “Pen and Pad,” a spoken word/acapella rap piece + video, FÜBB explores the role that writing poetry and lyrics plays as he works to contextualize his life, making sense of past hardships, acknowledging his present circumstances, and working towards his vision for the future. More than just a reflection on his own life, “Pen and Pad” is a piece that encourages listeners to think about their own purpose in the world, as MC FÜBB says:

“It’s about more than just me and what I’m dealing with – it’s about where we’re heading collectively as human beings. I don’t think I’m unique in asking the questions I’m asking about purpose or how to be at home in the world; all of us deal with these existential yearnings at some level. My role as an emcee, and even more primarily as a poet, is to express these feelings in ways that perhaps most people don’t yet have access to. To write unwritten truths and speak unspoken knowledge – that’s my job as a poet and an emcee.”

The video for "Pen and Pad" is the second spoken word/acapella rap video that MC FÜBB has released in anticipation of his upcoming EP, the poet, which will drop in late 2012.

Written and performed by: MC FÜBB

Cinematography by: Evan Ciniello for StreetCar Creative


Monday, September 10, 2012

Tidal Wave

sometimes it trickles in slow
like mud quietly dissolving into the water
from the edge of a river bank

and sometimes it comes on all at once
like a tidal wave,
a tsunami on unsuspecting tourists,
a horrific mass engulfing my entire realm,
sloshing around before it settles,
heavy and unmoving,
washing in front of my eyes,
blurring vision,
and when I can see again sometimes
the wreckage left behind
is too much for words

but always, always it has been
that I’ve continued to persist.

though scars accumulate,
my injuries heal,

always trying to grow wiser,
more determined,
yearning for days when the levies
will be strong enough to hold


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Another Rapper Video


Tired of being looked over, shrugged off, and brushed to the side by the music industry, media sources, and even his own peers, MC FÜBB felt it necessary to vent his frustrations on his last album, In the Face of No Agreement (aka ITFONA). In anticipation of his upcoming EP, the poet, FÜBB teamed up with Evan Ciniello (StreetCar Creative) to release a video for his spoken word/acapella rap piece "Another Rapper" (which appears on ITFONA).

"I wrote 'Another Rapper' as part of a process in which I was getting out a lot of my internal struggles and frustrations, which was sort of the personal theme of ITFONA for me," says FÜBB. "I wanted to explicitly show and prove to people why I'm not just another rapper out of the millions of rappers in the world. People might wonder, 'why should I pay attention to you? What makes you special or different than everyone else?' 'Another Rapper' is my answer to those questions."

The video for "Another Rapper" is the first in a series of spoken word/acapella rap videos that MC FÜBB will be releasing before the poet EP drops in late 2012.

"Another Rapper" is featured as track #7 on MC FÜBB's album, "In the Face of No Agreement," produced exclusively by Noyz (http://mcfubb.bandcamp.com/album/in-the-face-of-no-agreement-lp).

Free download of "Another Rapper" and lyrics available here:
http://mcfubb.bandcamp.com/track/another-rapper-interlude

Written and performed by: MC FÜBB
http://www.mcfubb.com
@MCFUBB

Cinematography by: Evan Ciniello for StreetCar Creative
http://www.facebook.com/StreetCarCreative
@StreetCarCini

Outro beat by: Noyz
http://noyzhiphop.bandcamp.com/
@NoyzHipHop



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

If Darkness Reigns

If the ceiling
should crack and crumble
and all below
is covered in dust and rocks,
while walls decay
and fall over
leaving all beneath them
dead and gone,

If the ground
should shake and drift
from solid foundations
to liquid earth,
while the golden pictures
come falling down
into pits of fire
and burn,

If the truths
that we all seek
should elude us and
hide in lies,
while the lights
that warm our souls
stop gleaming
and dwell in shadows
in the night,

If the happiness
is depleted
and all the joy
is dry and cold,
while the waters
of the rivers
that sustain our life
seem to stop to flow,

If we are still alive
through all these things,
then this is reason enough
to keep dreaming,
keep fighting,
and keep on living.


Sunday, July 8, 2012

We Are Still Here


we might not look at you the same way we used to

we might squint our eyes a bit more in confusion,
furrow our brows
and ask more questions,
be unable to understand your answers

sometimes it might hurt you to know
that we don’t recognize you
or seem to have forgotten who you are

please don’t be too sad –
we have not forgotten

the same people who loved you your entire life
still love you –
we still care as much as we ever did,
even if we are unable to show it,
it still warms our hearts to see you,
to hear your voice,
even if our brains won’t let us acknowledge it

you might think that you’ve already lost us
but you haven’t.

we are still here.

we are still here,
behind the waves of confusion,
the disorientation,
the utter impossibility to make sense of it all,
we are here,
still beings inside these shells,
still feeling, still experiencing the world,
if only in different ways than we have before,
still seeking your love and companionship
despite everything that’s happening to us,
still listening for your words
even if we don’t seem to be able to comprehend them

and we know it’s hard for you to be with us like this,
we know it hurts for you to see your mothers, your fathers,
grandparents, husbands, wives, aunts and uncles,
to see your heroes deteriorate before your eyes;
we wish that it didn’t have to be this way,
but it is;

do not feel guilty for your pain,
do not be ashamed of us or of your sadness –
nobody expected things to turn out this way

but here we are –
you, us
still here
still living in the face of an insidious disease,
still living through it a day at a time

we are still here
waiting for you and the only thing that some of us can still understand at all:

love

we still understand your love



Saturday, July 7, 2012

Hurt

tell me not to care me so much

they tell me to be realistic,
listen to the ways of this man-made world and
tone in down a notch

dream only when you’re asleep
and don’t tell me about it

don’t look behind all these tarnished, maroon curtains
at the ugliness we’ve kept so un-cleverly hidden,
don’t pay attention to any of it
because it might take you a step closer to the truth
and the truth hurts,
it hurts…

speak when you’re spoken to,
walk when the sign says to
and go where you’re allowed because
it’s bloody dangerous out there and you might get
hurt.

stay comfortable.
stay home.
stay safe.
as long as you don’t bother anyone
or move anything then everything will be ok

things are not ok.

they shit on us telling us it’s chocolate icing,
spray Febreeze on piles of decaying rot and tell us
it’s a breath of fresh air,
tell us that as long as you can afford your skinny mint frappuccino with flavour shot of your choice from Starbucks every single day then – hey,
you’re doing pretty good

how good are you really doing?
how are you actually living?

aim higher.
push harder.
reach farther.
ask more of yourself than you would of your children,
your significant other,
your employees;

be a leader;
to lead is to teach and teaching by example isn’t the only way to teach
but it’s probably the most effective,
listen to the cries of your soul on one of those nights of fear
instead of going out for drinks,
write something, build something, create something
instead of watching another episode of Jersey Shore,
and if you don’t want to listen to me then ask yourself why
because all I’m telling you to do
is to listen to you,

listen to you
                                                 
no matter how much it hurts.


Friday, July 6, 2012

Unseen

pain doesn’t really care what colour you are
whether or not you have a trust fund or
live on the street
pain doesn’t care how old you are
if you live a comfortable life
or haven’t slept in a week

fear doesn’t give a fuck if you’re a homosexual
if you’re straight as an arrow
or you live your life celibate
and fear doesn’t care if you’re an athlete or professional
if you live a rough life
or your whole world is delicate

this is life right now and there’s no prerequisite
no instruction manual, no list for double-checking it
we’re only here as long as we are – no half steppin it
this world brings us down only as long as we’re letting it

you see, sadness doesn’t just pick on the weak-hearted
and madness doesn’t just steal the minds of cowards
we wanna build our lives, but before we start it
we should take a few minutes to analyze our power

strength lies in more than our muscles and bones
strength is what it takes to build a family, a home
a community, a world worth living in
when a man does you wrong, it takes strength to be forgiving him
it takes courage to live this life
to be true to oneself in the face of the odds
to make sense of a world that can seem so odd
keeping faith is more than about believing in God

it’s about seeing greatness in the eyes of each other
responsibility for pointing out the lies in each other
no matter how uncomfortable, we must rely on each other
we can either grow together or die with each other
and might sound drastic, but life can be drastic
we all carry burdens around, we try to mask it
lie about the fact that sometimes we get our ass kicked
it’s like we’re tryna shine our light through layers of plastic

but we’re greater than we give ourselves credit for
you’re greater than your bank account balances and credit scores
this world made you forget who you are – what you let it for?
once upon a time, you had a dream – what did you forget it for?


get quiet. take some minutes from time and just listen
be patient with the process,
get in touch with your inner waves like audio that’s lossless
fuck a dollar sign – silence is priceless – costless
just listen…

because love doesn’t care what mistakes you’ve made
even if you spent half your life drinking your way to the grave
and love doesn’t resent you for being a human being
love lives in the unseen – there’s so much we’re not seeing