the pen and my pad my refuge from solipsism
when I’ve dwelled in
my self-made prison for too long,
pen to the pad as I
write another song
‘cause without it my
life just feels wrong…
reminiscing on days I
spent living from a bong
lighting cherries that
buried my soul, losing control,
lying to myself,
I was the opposite of
strong,
I thank God that those
days are gone
I ain’t arrogant
enough to think I can’t return
to the place where my
fingertips burned
but I’ve learned
if I day at a
time I stay focused on my rhymes,
meditate and pray when
it’s time to clear my mind
I can find a bit of
peace on this earth,
for what it’s worth
I’ve been walking this
path since my birth,
since before I
crawled;
since before I was
born,
I heard my name
called,
said I was needed to
deflate the conceited –
that’s what I came for
yet I need to stay
humble and grateful,
keep the poison from
my lips because it’s distasteful
and above all else
never be hateful,
‘cause my brother told
me that there’s nothing below that,
a sapling from the
tree of life,
I’m tryna grow that,
when I put my pen to
the pad is how I show that,
and I need to be
patient – I know that,
but it’s hard when
what I’m seeing all around me is so wack,
sometimes the past
beckons to me,
I can’t go back
I’m looking at future
moments, wishing I could hold that
I know my presence
lives in the present,
that’s where my power
lies,
if I look too far
ahead then I’m paralyzed,
living out my legacy
while staring through this pair of eyes,
already seen the truth
– I ain’t scared of lies,
most living like
they’ll be here forever –
that’s where the error
lies,
their dreams sautéing
on the back burner until they’re caramelized
my pen and pad are the
only things I’ve ever truly owned,
even this life that I
call my own is on lease,
I put what I know in a
poem and I release
everything I’ve been
keeping inside, I set free,
on the path of a poet,
the only thing left to be
is me,
sometimes the hardest
thing to see
is that which is
lovely
in a world that can be
so ugly,
but if you look deep
enough, you must agree
that if we
pay close enough
attention to the signs, then they do appear
and guide us to the
rivers of life – it’s all fluid there,
if there’s a destiny
to fulfill, we must do it there,
put my pen to pad,
receive courage and
march through the fear.