My whole life's been an uphill climb.
Nothing's ever come easy,
and if it did, it was fleeting
memories dissolving like
icing sugar on the tongue,
sweet for a moment then done.
I'm still climbing.
Never felt like I fit in,
now I know it's because I don't
fit into the plan of those who made it,
still striving to walk the path - I feel God's lament
over my detoured ways,
growing impatient
thinking that I need a relocation,
bouncing between bars.
In between bars I spit my truth;
when I write, all I am is light
fighting my way through cobwebs I've let accumulate.
Perhaps there's no direct path to fate.
But if who I am and everything I create is not enough
to "make it"
then I might as well be dead now,
but I'm not.
I must have more left to do and say,
more left to do and say
on this uphill climb.
G-d does not lament or grow impatient over you. You are special and are part of G-d, as we all are. It is your own inner critic that causes your doubt. You may or may not 'make it' in terms of being prosperous in this society, and you may someday choose to add to what you are doing, but your words are your gift and your piece of G-d. Even when angry, they are what you were given, and you may have been given more that you don't know about yet. Rest when you need to and then keep walking with your eyes and ears open. Love, L.A. S.
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